1. Carousel
2. M+M's
3. Fentoozler
4. Touchdown Boy
5. Strings
6. Peggy Sue
7. Sometimes
8. Does My Breath Smell?
9. Cacophony
10. T.V.
11. Toast & Bananas
12. Wasting Time
13. Romeo & Rebecca
14. Ben Wah Balls
15. Just About Done
16. Depends



1. Carousel - (3:14)
I talk to you every now and then
I never felt so alone again
I stop to think at a wishing well
my thoughts send me on a carousel

Here I am standing on my own
not a motion from the telephone
I know not a reason why
solitudes a reason to die

Just you wait and see
as school life is a
It is a woken dream
aren't you feeling alone?

I guess its just another
I guess its just another
I guess its just another night alone

Now as I walk down the street
I need a job just to sleep in sheets
buying food every once in a while
but not enough to purchase a smile

A tank of gas is a treasure to me
I know now that nothing is free
I talk to you every now and then
I never felt so alone again

Just you wait and see
as school life is a
it is a woken dream
aren't you feeling alone?

I guess its just another
I guess its just another
I guess its just another night alone
2. M+M's (2:39)
You and I should get away for awhile
I just want to be alone with your smile
buy some candy and cigarettes and we'll get in my car
we'll blast the stereo and we'll drive to Madagascar

Because when I'm with you there's nothing I wouldn't do
I just want to be your only one
I'm grasping out at straws thinking back to what I saw
that night on the floor when we were all alone

My love life was getting so bland
there are only so many ways I can make love with my hand
sometimes it makes me want to laugh
sometimes I want to take my toaster in the bath

Because when I'm with you there's nothing I wouldn't do
I just want to be your only one
I'm grasping out at straws thinking back to what I saw
that night on the floor when we were all alone

Who's gonna be the odd man out?
I don't want to be the odd man out
is this going to be the end
or are you going to be my new girlfriend?
3. Fentoozler (2:04)
At the risk of sounding rude
just who the fuck do you think you are
to tell me what you expect of me today?

Well, you can take your attitude
you're out of luck, you've gone way too far
if you think there's any chance I'm gonna stay

How long can I string you along?
how little of myself can I give
and still make you believe I care?

At the risk of sounding trite
just why the fuck do you think you're right
about every little thing that you say?

And do you think that it is right
for Tom to spend another night
writing songs about the people he thinks are gay?

How long can I string you along?
how little of myself can I give
and still make you believe I care?

How long can I string you along
how little of myself can I give
and still make you believe I care?
4. Touchdown Boy (3:06)
There's this one guy
there's no one like him in all the world
'cause you can always see
those girls down on their knees

In those dark sweaty rooms
planning out his thoughts
he's waiting for just the right

One by one as they
walk right through the door, they
keep on coming back I
guess they just want more

He has fun fun fun and you
might call him a whore, but
just look where he's at 'cause
he is the one that scores

(Well Tom, it looks like he's passing the ball to the tight end
I wasn't sure if you knew that the tight end was a wide receiver
but, they don't usually know
Yeah, he won't be alone this weekend, I don't think
It's funny that you say that,
because like a dog, he's loyal to his bone)

I saw my friend there
out on the field today
I asked him where he's going, he said
"all the way," now

One by one as they
walk right through the door, they
keep on coming back I
guess they just want more

He has fun fun fun and you
might call him a whore, but
just look where he's at 'cause
he is the one that scores, go!
5. Strings (2:22)
I would do anything and that's
what scares me so bad
don't want to live my life alone
don't want to go back to what I had

Don't want to spend my life without
all those special things
don't want to walk around being tied to
anyone else's

Strings, strings
strings, strings

I would do anything and that's
what scares me so bad
don't want to live my life alone
don't want to go back to what I had

Don't want to spend my life without
all those special things
don't want to walk around being tied to
anyone else's

Strings, strings
strings, strings

Strings, strings
strings, strings
6. Peggy Sue (2:38)
I know what it's like to be alone sitting in your room
listening to all the doubts that your parents have to say to you

And as your head gets all cluttered inside
try to stay awake
everything they say are lies
that's all the shit that you ever have to take

So hold in all your aggressions
because your grinding your teeth on down to
the bottom of your chin

It's not easy or so damn pleasing
to not laugh at everything they say as
they tell you what to be you're not alone

I know what it's like to be denied at everything you do
It's not the same reason why that
makes you change the things that you once knew

As your head gets all cluttered inside
give more than you take
everything they say are lies
that's all the shit that you ever have to take

So hold in all your aggressions
because your grinding your teeth on down to
the bottom of your chin

It's not easy or so damn pleasing
to not laugh at everything they say as
they tell you what to be you're not alone

You say you want to take off your shoes and
walk barefoot down the street
just to be the things that you can be
just live for one more week, go!

You say you want to take off your shoes just to
walk barefoot down the street
just to be the things that you can be
just live for one more week

So hold in all your aggressions
because your grinding your teeth on down to
the bottom of your chin

It's not easy or so damn pleasing
to not laugh at everything they say as
they tell you what to be you're not alone
7. Sometimes (1:04)
Oh, how I wish that they would last
moments of peace that just slip through me so fast
just when I think that they are gonna stay
everything inside me just starts fading away

Sometimes it seems like all I hope for
just gets thrown down on the floor
and then it seems like you don't love me anymore
sometimes I wish that I could run away
sometimes I wish I just had something to say

She looks at me and doesn't know the words to say
but it's not you, I just don't feel quite right today
all these things I say and do were never planned
but how the fuck am I supposed to make you understand that

Sometimes it seems like all I hope for
just gets thrown down on the floor
and then it seems like you don't love me anymore
sometimes I wish that I could run away
sometimes I wish I just had something to say
8. Does My Breath Smell? (2:33)
Who makes up all the rules about those girls I want?
who tells them all to laugh?
who tells them all to talk about me?

And I'm not sure what my purpose is for being here
why do they, why do they
always kick me in the groin when I come near
and I'm not complaining it just hurts after a bit

I don't know what I'm feeling
I'm just so sick of seeing
all those dumb, lame, and retarded broads

Who often just sit kick back
as I am not so relaxed
I often wonder why they act so odd

Because no worse a time
when it's just your time to
think you should make your move
it doesn't work as your just a jerk with no excuse

What about that situation
all night procrastination
takes you to the point when you lead her to her door

There is nothing left there to say
I guess you best be on your way
but before you go you got to do that chore

No worse a time
when it's just your time to
think you should make your move
it doesn't work as you're just a jerk with no excuse

Please won't you buy in
I'm always tryin'
I keep on tryin'
there's only so much pride that I can lose

I hope that when you see me
you see right through me
come on now, honestly
I'm so sick of endin' up without a clue
9. Cacophony (3:00)
When you talk about tomorrow
I'm not sure about today
when you tell me that you love me
what am I supposed to say?

Sometimes I don't feel
the same way as you feel

Words like forever
they scare the shit out of me
maybe I'm afraid of commitment
maybe you're too distracted to see that

Sometimes I don't feel
the same way as you feel

I think of all the things I'd say to you if I had the chance again
I think of all the things I'd scream
but I think it's for the best
that you and I just don't connect and
things are never quite what they seem

Will there ever be
someone to give her heart to me
or would I be to blind to see it

I wouldn't make a sound
I'd keep it underground

It always seems like I'm running around around
running around around, round

Sometimes I don't feel
the same way as you feel
10. T.V. (1:38)
When I'm at work, ya, I always rush right home for lunch
so I can check out what's up on the Brady Bunch
and when I'm walking through the front door at night
I gotta see who's winning on The Price is Right, oh

I never dreamed that I'd spend my days
staring at some tube emitting cathode rays
I need my TV

What's happening in this world, I don't care at all
but it better not pre-empt Monday Night Football
I can't even come up with my own views
I'm taught how to think from the evening news, oh

I never dreamed that I'd spend my days
staring at some tube emitting cathode rays
I need my TV

La la la la la la la la!...
11. Toast & Bananas (2:37)
(My pants are off right now)

Do you wanna know what I think of you?
'cause you're not the way I thought you should be
to take back what you said
it's time to fix, it's time to fix your head

And now all alone, one's less than two
I've never been better off living lonely
to listen to what you say
I couldn't care less of what you say

What did you think of me acting this way
I guess you never really thought at all
Is that what you call your brain?
Is that why I call, you hang up on me?

I wanted to know, I didn't want to lose
and now I'm a man who's just living small
listen to what you say
I couldn't care less of what you say

To me as I walk alone I'd
much rather be riding prone, then
to be just another one you are lame to

I wanted to know, I didn't want to lose
but now I'm a man who's just living small
to listen to what you say
I couldn't care less of what you say

To me as I tune you out of my mind
won't bend over backwards or
take another step ahead to
hear from you again

Don't talk to me as I walk alone, I'd
much rather be riding prone, than
be just another one you're lame to

Don't talk to me as I tune you out of my mind
I won't bend over backwards or
take another step ahead to
hear from you again

Don't talk to me as I walk alone, I'd
much rather be riding prone, than
to be just another one you are lame to
12. Wasting Time (2:42)
I'm wasting time thinking about a girl
and stealing her away from her world
she and I would run away
I think of all the things that I'd say

We'd talk about important things
and I picture it in my dreams
she'd teach me about modern art
and I'd show her it's okay to fart and

Maybe I'd impress her
by being in a band and
maybe if I act real tough
she'd let me hold her hand and
maybe I'll win her heart
by writing this song about her

Sometimes I sit at home and
wonder if she's sitting at home
thinking of me and wondering if I'm
sitting at home, thinking about her
or am I just wasting my time

Remembering how she laughed at Kinko's
when I made fun of that guy
remembering the look she gave me
when I told her that I used to fry

I really want to ask her out
but my ego could never take it
and even if I got the balls
you know that the Cougar would never make it

And in my town you can't drive naked

And maybe I'd impress her
by being in a band and
maybe if I act real tough
she'd let me hold her hand and
maybe I'll win her heart
by writing this song about her

Sometimes I sit at home and
wonder if she's sitting at home
thinking of me and wondering if I'm
sitting at home, thinking about her
or am I just wasting my time

Am I just wasting my time
am I just wasting my time
am I just wasting my time
wasting my time thinking about a girl
13. Romeo & Rebecca (2:28)
Walking through the grass
another blade next to you from the ground
as the wind does pass
I noticed as you feel the breath of my shout

Your words are kind
the kind that repeatedly say no
but that's alright
I'm older than you so I've got time

What have you said, reach out your hand
there's a black shadow on my wall
but as I look into my mind
I can see that girls are a waste of time

We've all seen the bridge
a broken seam and a girl on one side
you think your words will work
they only work when you lay down and close your eyes

I thought of all the lines
all the right ones used at all the wrong times
but that's alright
depression's just a sarcastic state of mind

What have you said, reach out your hand
there's a black shadow on my wall
but as I look into my mind
I can see that girls are a waste of time

I don't want to live alone
I don't want to live in
my broken dreams of you

I don't want to live along with
my broken dreams of you
I don't want to live along with
my broken dreams of you
14. Ben Wah Balls (3:52)
(No we ain't gonna take it unless it's from a doberman pincher
ladies and gentlemen, for your listening pleasure, Blink guiguigu!)

Passively one day as the sun rose out of it's house
so did this little old guy as he whistled out of his mouth
and happily and gay
well I guessed exactly that
because he found a special girl
that put him in a special trance

He fell in love so quickly
what the hell was he to expect
that the girl under his arm wasn't the same
as any other girl
that he had thought that he once met
I guess you could only blame fate

Things started getting weird as they started to kiss
she often felt his beard and remembered how her father she missed
and then quietly one day
he sang a song from deep within his heart
causing some ingestion
he finished with a great big fart and

She knew at that one moment
that song was something she heard before
so she asked him to do that again

Then out the door they hurried
she was gonna find out for sure
so she analyzed his rear end

She said, "when I was a little girl my dad left my mom
he used to always fart and sing this special song
now I wasn't quite so sure until your pants did fall
'cause now I know that your my dad because you use ben wah balls"

I said a wah, wah, wah-wah-wah,
wah, wah-wah-wah, wah, ben wah balls
wah, wah-wah-wah,
wah, wah-wah-wah, wah
15. Just About Done (2:16)
(screams)
Come on!
(screams)
(mumbling)
(screams)

Just about done with your butt,
we'll let ya know, hey

(screams)
(chanting)

Just about done with your butt,
we'll let ya know, hey
just about done with your butt,
we'll let ya know, hey
just about done with your butt,
we'll let ya know, hey
just about done with your butt

(chanting)

Just about done with your butt

Just about done with your butt,
we'll let ya know, hey
just about done with your butt,
we'll let ya know, hey
just about done with your butt,
we'll let ya know, hey

(screams)

Just about done with your butt
just about done with your butt
just about done with your butt,
we'll let ya know, hey

(distorted talking)
(screams)

Just about done with your butt,
Just about done with your butt,
we'll let ya know, hey

(screams)

Just about done with your butt,
we'll let ya know, hey
Just about done with your butt,
we'll let ya know, hey, hey!
16. Depends (2:48)
(1,2,1,2,3,4!)

I don't want to urinate on myself
I don't want to urinate on anyone else
but I guess that really doesn't matter anymore
because I can't control my bladder anymore

Well, I guess it all depends (undergarments)
well, I guess it all depends (undergarments)

Step back in the light
no more soiled nights alone
but I guess I don't have a care
because there's not a load in my underwear

I'm sick of offending everyone I meet (go, go, go, go)
I'm sick of crying myself to sleep on rubber sheets (go)
I had an accident today
I left a soil on a bus seat, I didn't know what to say

But, I guess it all depends (undergarments)
well, I guess it all depends (undergarments)

Step back into life (go, go)
no more soiled nights alone
well, I guess that I don't have a care
if I don't have a load in my underwear

--------------------

Uh, anyway, uh, well as I was saying,
my dog, nice dog, bending over, uh

If you dropped your keys, you'd bend over too.

Uh, so, uh, well, uh, just wanna say,
thank you all for coming to the sperm bank.
Do you have a question there?

Shit Scott. That aki-mofo be messin' with
my lady, gotta be runnin' cold upsidedown
his head, you know what I'm sayin mans? Hey
holmes, I can dig it, that brotha ain't
gonna pick up on you man, i.c.a (??) Scott,
(??), pretty J, I did the same-ol same-ol,
hey, (??), lick the gray metal fat (??),
I take tcb'in man. Hey, you know what they
say, you see the (??), you lay her down and
slackum yackum, cold gotta be ya know man,
shit.

Uh, are you uh, feelin' all right?

Oh man... jmofoba lay me to the bones,
she's jackin me up... tightly!

Alright. Get out the scissors and get in place.
Ready? Now start choppin.

Hey man, someone spot me, it's heavy!

Alright, now heave it on down here!

(sound of someone falling down the stairs)

Okay, it's all the way down there!

Aw... who taught you how to throw the dick down the stairs?